Saying Goodbye

Many of you have been asking me how things have been going. "Are you all set to go?" "Are all your bags packed?", "How are you feeling about going?", etc. Firstly, thank you for asking me these questions- even if they are just to make conversation. It's sometimes hard to put what I'm really feeling into words at the exact moment I'm asked. I thought, if for no one else but myself, I'd try and write it down so I never forget the emotions that go hand and hand with saying goodbye to so many things all at once. Last Friday, Colton and Grant had their last ever day at Widford Lodge Preparatory School. Grant has been teaching in this wonderful school for just over 6 years and Colton began his first stop into the world of education here. It's a school which holds itself at a very high esteem- and rightly so- as it was ranked in the top 25 private schools in the UK. The teaching staff and families have a lovely attitude towards the school, the children and the academic world- as well as a very family based way of running things. It's been a pleasure for us as a family to be a part of this school, both on the employee and student spectrum. With that said, one would have thought I would have been prepared to say goodbye...but on the Friday afternoon I felt like my little world stopped when I saw Colton walk out of his classroom for the last time with his wonderful teacher- tears in her eyes as he hugged her and said goodbye. (I of course had already been blubbering like a baby waiting for him to come out. Pathetic. ;-) It's in the last and final hugs and the "thank you for the part you've played in my family's life", and the not knowing when I will see you again- if ever in my life- that I am struggling with the most. I remember a quote I received in high school from a friend which said "there are people who come into your life and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprint on your heart. And you are never the same." I'm not the same because of these people. The teachers my kids had in preschool and kindergarten who saw my kids grow, cared for them, helped to develop them, played with them and loved them. The Sunday School teachers who invest in my kids lives each week- who show them godly examples of a Christ filled life, sing with my kids, make them laugh and teach them truth. The friendships who feel more like family than friends and who treat my children like their own whenever we are together. Their grandparents who know how to do nothing without loving these little ones no matter what. I am learning in saying goodbye, how to really enjoy, really cherish and really love. Each day and each moment- as if it were my last-- because it might be. As for the practical sides of things, we are pretty much ready to go. We have had two big containers shipped over with all our belongings (mostly toys!) on the 12th of December, and all we have left in the UK are clothes and Christmas gifts. I have been thoroughly spoilt by Grant's mom, Laura, as she has been doing all our laundry for us since we have been living with them! (This is a particularly wonderful treat for me as Laundry is by far my most despised chore!) Our evenings are spent either seeing friends, wrapping presents while watching Parenthood (love!), or relaxing. It's a lovely pause in what is normally a very chaotic time and I feel very blessed to be able to enjoy these evenings and moments without too many "normal household duties" to accomplish. Peyton and I even made mince pies yesterday- which is one Christmas recipe that I will definitely be taking to the states with me and making each year. :-) (Mulled wine, too....;-)

As for the children and Grant, well- I would have to say excitement is the general theme at the moment. The promise of a basement and the kids each having their own room again (they've been sharing since October 15!) is enough to make them go crazy. The kids (and sometimes Grant!) are constantly quizzing me on what American words are the same, and what do we say differently. (Trash can/rubbish bin, Aluminium/aluminum, aubergine/eggplant, Trousers/pants...this one could cause potential trouble...as the word 'pants' in the UK means 'underwear' in America!) However, my kids biggest concern was making sure that no matter what country they are in- the word for garlic bread is the same. (I totally understand, kids..:-) it was a huge weight lifted knowing they mean the same thing in both countries. :-) Pair all this alongside the thought of all their toys magically appearing in our new house and Colton getting to ride a school bus...well I think they might just burst. I'm glad for their excitement because it would be so much harder if they felt sad and scared. It's helping me to get through each day with a smile and less tears. Kids teach us so much. Mine have been a particular blessing to me in these bittersweet moments when they hug me tighter or tell me I don't need to cry- because they will "always be my baby". I will tell you one thing...I'm so happy I get to do this adventure with my three favorite people. They are my world. Let the adventure begin! :-)

The decision.

My first day at Malone College University, in true Christian college fashion, we were given a Bible and a t-shirt. I still have the Bible- even here in the UK it's journeyed with me. The t-shirt...not so much. But I remember fondly what the verse was which was worn many times throughout my 4 years at Malone. Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." While the context of this verse, and the verses surrounding, are written for Jews in exile awaiting the time God will bring them back to the land he promised, I feel particularly at peace when I think about this and the decision my husband and I are making for our family. It gives me comfort knowing that despite my seemingly overwhelming need to be in control, I serve a God who goes before, who knows our future, and unltimately has our entire being in his hands. And breathe. In the summer of 2013, our family flew from England to America making the crazy 19 hour drive from Florida to Ohio (and yes, eventually back again!)with 2 children under the age of 4- one of whom was potty training. It was a crazy vacation- but not one we will forget in a hurry! Because it ultimately led us to a huge life change occuring in the next month and a half. The decision to move our family from England-where I have been for 8 1/2 years (and my husband much longer ;-).. to Columbus, Ohio. I remember driving down to Columbus to visit some close friends for a couple of days. We left with very little thought except sayiing goodbye to my parents and sister, and driving the 2.5 hours it takes to get there. As we approached Columbus, Grant and I both looked at each other- almost simultaneously- and said "Wow. This city looks amazing!" We didn't really say much the next 3 days we were there- we caught up with wonderful friends, ate lots of good ice cream (Jeni's and Graeters!), went shopping...(there's LOTS of shopping to be done in Columbus!) and just had a great time being with people we see far to little of and miss far too much. After staying a couple nights with our friends Ben and Stacey in Logan, Ohio- we began to make the long car journey back down to Florida where we would stay on our first ever vacation with just us 4. The kids did incredibly well during the trip, and we had a whole week to ourselves. It was then we began to dream- to really talk about what we wanted for our children, for ourselves and for our future. Columbus. Why did we never think about Ohio before? It made sense. It's where I grew up (and let me tell you- you can't beat an Ohio Autumn.) It's where Grant and I fell in love, and it's where so many of our dear friends and family live. And so...here we are. When we got back to the UK, we immediately got to work. We started the (long and costly) Greencard process in November of 2013. We began working out timelines. We spoke to countless people about possibilities and tranferring Grant's degree qualifications and exams he might need in order to teach in Ohio. We got in touch with a Realtor in Columbus (who has now become a friend.) We took passport pictures and filled out forms. And filled out forms. And filled out forms...and... Let me tell you, moving from one country to another is not for the faint of heart. It takes incredible endurance and "hope for the future". There are moments when you can literally see God's goodness in your life. In real, visible, tangible ways. We experienced this this past August. When we returned from America, some of our closest friends here in England helped me paint most of our house to get it ready for putting on the market. I was meeting up with a friend of mine for coffee at her house one morning and telling her about our plans. SHe mentioned a friend who she knew wanted to move into Danbury and had already sold their home. I was more than willing to let her come and take a look at our house before putting it on the market in about a week's time if she was interested. Her friend called me that same evening. She came over the following day at 2pm. Can I just pause for a minute and say I have never cleaned my house so much in such a short amount of time. It was actually spotless. I kid you not. By the following week we had sold our house. Not a realtor in sight. (And I only had to clean that sucker once.) Praise the Lord! After this huge weight had been lifted, we had Grant's final greencard interview set for September 30. Grant and I made our way (slowly, as he was still recovering after a hernia op at the beginning of the month!) to the US Embassy in London. We stood in a queue- made our way to the front- and then laughed as they said "I'm sorry ma'am (yes. ma'am!), you're not on the list. Only your husband is allowed in." "But you do realize I'm his wife-- and I'm actually American, right?" "Yes, but we can only let people on the list enter." So off goes my very British husband into the US Embassy. Without his American wife. (I found a Starbucks- don't worry. ;-) And later they did let me in...because the interviewer got me a special wink and a nod and I skipped the huge queue that continued to form and waltzed right in...after security checks of course!) Grant receieved his Visa for entry to the US that day (the actual greencard comes once we are physically in the states.) And the year long planning and form filling came to an end. After this, the house move played out fairly smoothly. We officially moved out of our house on November 13 and into Grant's parents. Although the thought of saying goodbye to our house where my babies have seemingly grown into little children proved emotional- I wasn't quite ready for the emotional journey of starting to say goodbye to the many wonderful people who I have been blessed with here. We will be flying to the states on January 5th and everyday in my head I am counting the number of days I have left here with sadness as I leave this part of my life and the love I have been saturated with by friends and family who mean the world to me. Even now, I sit and write this from one of my best friends kitchen table. I have been welcomed, cared for, embraced and loved beyond anything I possibly deserve by the people here- in ways I don't think I quite expected or even realized until the thought of saying goodbye lumps in my throat. Please friends, if you remember us- please will you pray for our family during this time? Pray for Grant and I as parents to be gentle and understanding- watching our 3 and 5 year old say goodbye to the only country they've ever lived in...the only schools they've ever attended, their teachers, their sweet friends, their family--especially their sweet, sweet great grandma and their incredible, godly grandparents. Pray for their transition especially- that they can make new friends and still talk fondly of the ones left behind, and that Colton especailly will adjust into a new Kindergarten and different routine. Pray we find a Bible teaching, God loving church to call home. Pray for practical things- for Grant to find a teaching job by next school year and for us to make new friends and really invest in the ones we haven't seen for so long. Pray for us to settle as a family. Thank you ahead of time. "hope and a future.." are two of the things I have given to the Lord continuously over the past 18 months. Our plans, our dreams, our security, our children, our friendships- old and new, our goodbyes and our hellos. All in the Lord's all-knowing, all-loving hands. I wouldn't have it any other way.